Photography Jewellery Bass Guitar

Home page

No names of people are used, it’s a personal experience.

No persons or circumstances should be inferred and any co-incidences are purely that.

Hopefully you find it of interest...

Food 4thought...

One man muddles through the day

Another holds tightly onto insanity

It bears no relevance now in your life

Please just let go of all that strife

Globe animation

You go to the 'Doc' with an 'eavy 'e'd:

"I want to give up, I'm full of dread"

So you get told to take a pill...

Goodness, Gracious!

A brand NEW



Now that you

can carry on;

Take on the

world! - Bring it


You're so Happy


The sore head



As this world is spinning round

we make the best of life lost in a crowd..


leopard pants flow

It’s a word my brain was screaming at me


I thought..

The Oxford English dictionary gave 4 definitions at a quick glance:





The first 2 appeal instantly, the 3rd makes me think of Baldrick from Blackadder;

he had that sort of plan

and the 4th generally speaking is more of an uphill struggle as it's being

economical with the truth

Here we go again

 (sorry, there's politics everywhere)

Nobody wants to face a lawsuit right?

The Doc who is the 'Man with the manna' sure wants



Deja vous
Itz Alive!
"Take a tablet..."                                 ".NEXT!"

Social mindsets influence why taking 'socially acceptable pacifiers'
rates your standing in life.


Face your fears and they will disappear...

It#s Alive!


Acceptance of functionality

People see a doctor because they require ‘something’.

Requiring extensive ‘modifications’ during life is learning for everyone.

I was a 24/7 carer a couple of decades ago and with a mixture of family and state care, I managed

to sustain the limbo with a ‘mind emulsifier’ prescribed by the state.

I could name the medication but I don’t feel the ‘generic title’ is very important.

I remember being rushed to a psychiatric hospital and crying as I took my first blast of the brain

activity control leash I wore for 15 years. I cried not because I was distressed but as I simply stated

at the time:

"Everything was gonna be fine”

Everything was doable for over a decade. I held down a job, had a 650cc Suzuki motorbike,

graduated from college with a diploma, lived independently, dealt with my finances. But I can’t claim

to be a solo pilot here; I am head injured.

During all these years, the effectiveness of the medication faded and gradually its volume crept

more into my life until I felt the ferocity of side effects from it;

nystagmus, torticollis, Tardive dyskinesia

The severity of the first meant I had to return my driving license. The second makes me look like my

head is permanently twisted away from whomever I am speaking with and the third like my tongue

must be hung out my mouth for ventilation purposes.

Function and life became bearable?

Ok, back track a little and I’ll paint a picture..

When I started taking the ‘mind emulsifier’; let’s call that Olly, I was a 24/7 carer and the State wasn’t

dynamic enough to cover my critical duties at home whilst I underwent the set state ward supervised

pill administration process.

After realising the sh1t had hit the fan at home. I had to leave..

I was on the right path now.

Thanks doc.

We are the robots. We function, if not- what’s life?

I turned my back towards a system that was keeping my functionality alive

(and therefore sustaining itself)

but has loathing, mistrust and even social disgust from people in everyday walks of life..

Until one day I was getting my state paid support from someone new who noticed I had torticollis.

They asked if I was taking any anti-psychotics, to which I said yes.. - not quite sure which way the

conversation was headed.

In their psychiatric experience taking anti-psychotics long term had caused problems.

I plunged myself back into the miasma of finding the right key for state funded functionality again;

Olly had died but strangled me mentally in the end meaning I couldn’t drive..

What gives you state functionality has to change from time to time, I suppose..

- A dismissive c'est la guerre. Perhaps too often used in a refusal to learn more effectively?

In a digital world everything is processed in a binary fashion. As people we are processed by the

state with a similar tick-box experience for efficiency, equality..

(and all other things nice too. ;-)

The removal of Olly from my daily regime of consuming a plethora of state funded functionality pills was

f**king horrible..

A tin foil metal hat allowed me to bear the microwaves being fired relentlessly at me by a neighbour

whilst I wasn’t brave enough to face the world (for about 3 weeks) at all. The postman with his razor

sharp envelopes concealed in the clutches of that scarlet red blood coloured bag might slice my

head off cleanly if I don’t say hello properly..


The fear. Can’t function..

The reality was I opted for the choice to remain at home with voice support available 24/7 during the

'fill the cracks in my mind' with a new colour of cement process.

Rather than face being sucked into a constant

tick-some-more-boxes environment with other equally distressed people..

Now Olly has been removed from my life completely and a NEW drug has gotta firm grasp of my

psyche's functionality I guess I’m on a road to somewhere..

Retrospectively I know, I’ve changed lane

and in effect

to the latest ‘plug pill’ for the hole in my mind...


Promise globe